Shoffs are really strange. They make o-r-d-i-n-a-r-y peeople turn into radiomatronzombiewhatsits what ae able to bash into smaller children than aged 0 months. 0 - 3 months is the first birth size and its massive if you actully have an inchometre to measure such factrics. OR it mightly be wryly toop shmell.
We live in Sheffield, and we had a funny idea about taking our 18 month old baby daughter to find a new toy. So, Eventually, We went to Meadowhell. It was after seven pee em and still rammed. That place really totally is like some kind of hell. At least twice I had to shout arrrrrrrrrbrrggggghhh this is horrible. It felt like wading the wrong way up a river. Or that all the people in there were walking north and we were the only ones walking South. We stuck out like a sore thumb. I wanted to stab them all. Other people have thought this too, a perfect example is:
Incredibly overwhelming and an autists nightmare.
It's shiny and fake and claustrophobic and intolerable. We stood at the top of the stairs and I was millimetres close to freaking out, had to hold my hands over my eyes and try and shut it out. Everywhere you looked just crowds of people zombie like consuming mass produced tat. Greedy thoughts swimming me me mine mine. 6.49 for a cardboard fast food meal seems like a bargain when the rest of it is priced at £8 plus. The oasis dining quarter is comparable to any fast food chain you've ever been in, complete with poor lighting, hundreds upon hundreds of people chewing with blank faces and the hubub of what we've just bought and what we will buy next. Just ugh. In fact the lighting isn't poor - they've actually put a lot of thought into it but what they've created is a mere shadow of what it could have been and that's what I hate the most I think - that place is not designed for relaxation but to get people up. And moving and consuming again as fast as possible. There's something intangible about its plasticity which makes me physically recoil involuntarily.
Even in the bathrooms there are mirrors opposite each other everywhere which feast on pieces of your soul and steal them for an eternity of Meadowhell. When you walk through them (as you have to befoe you can actually not wet yer troosers)
My friends said conveyer belt shops like IKEA are right bad cos you're stuck. She was right.
My other friends said some other stuff that I probably need their permission to repost.
And so I thought about Amelie after the third time we did the fire gig. And the shopping exchange, about how horible tunnels and spiral staircases without any viewing screens are and ting:
The very organ that denies us suncture, as in ACTUAL sustenance, is there to potect us. THE SECOND BRAIN IS HRR
Well I'm trying for it to not be the link but it is, and therefoeout etc, I don't know how to change it etc:
It's a pretty good link and it gets me stance in the fayceeeeeeeeee BREATHE
Four minutes in is where it all goes Wrong. I think they must have gagged and bound that poor woman then!
View from 3:13 and see how this woman is SHUT THE FUCK UP! etc. Her and her family are super ace. Oh and from 6 minutes, IGNORE
She massively leads this whole song:
After you have been cat wimmins, and drunk, and your friends come round bringing their special baby what has just been born, what indeed you did see being born, and they also bring all their other babies what were born about a few years earlier, all at once, all that is left is to feel the full weight of the amour.
So, today we are cat wimmins since it came in the post after the rum. What happened was, there was a request for an Elsa to come to a party one day and I said, I can do that fuckster! It's easy $$$. Then - what happened was I watched some youtube stuff about being Elsa and disney princesses in general thought about it and decided that actually being Elsa and smiling all day and being a sweety pie nicey nice was not what I should be doing really. So then, and I can't really remember why or how but cat wimmins was a decidedly better option.
Cos whips, innit?
Maintenant - Voici le Chat Vimmin AKA Michelle Pfieffer dans Batmad Le Retrune:
Which is how I invisaged it would look. I mean, I can equal her whip skills? Ya? Have to work on the cartwheels but that's what 15 year old daughter acrobatic aerialists are for. Ya? Cosplay conventiosn here we come! $$$, Thanks, yes of course we'll come back next year.
So - then onto the realms of OF COURSE CAT WIMMINS ARE BETTER THAN ELSA'S and I have WHIP skills etc etc etc etc etc. Let's now take a look at the competition:
Oh yes. Can totally do that fecker for $$$. She's clearly being paid a fuck ton for standing in a roped off kitty farm and "rolling out the whip" using her special kitty sense as taught to her by Anthony Delongis, mofo whip master. No less. Lucky old her! MEOW!
Anyways - in the hunt for an ACTUAL catwoman with an ACTUAL whip who maybe didn';t have any official Anthony D training (ie someone like me... always trying to find a vid of someone just like me doing what I would do - only there isnt cos it's only really me and I didn't make any veedyos yet cos... later) I happened across this absolute gem of talent, both in prop making and pouting, serious, if I could make a whip for less than $10 then blah. They even get extra points for the porn soundtrack:
So really, there's no competition. Ya??? Until your catsuit arrives and is so short in the abdomen that the only way to avoid a camels toe is to stand ever so seriously like this:
So - some more work needed for cosplay cat wimmins. Will I remember? Or will the costume lie in a pile on the stairs forever? Fuck it. We had a luagh anyway. For about three hours.
That cat wimmins in niqab's come later. When my ACTUAL niqab arrives. Then you - and only you, my favourite blog reader, will know about it. Doesn't that make you felt speskhull?
.. What happened;
But its raight nice when at least 2 NORMAL persons can witness and appriciate a good dynamic.
God in three persons, by the resi-dents
Then after there was The Slits what done:
And then Little Eris:
And then lots of:
Milf, Confessions of? I wish it was the first one though much better only it doesnt exist anymore, and ting;
Has she sacked all her band? Why?
I like Viv Albertine. Apart from when she says LIGHTS OUT! I mean, Tee hee hee, SHOES OFF:
Following a golf ball. Are you truly true. There are magic bubbles, popping over you.
I do not believe there is any evidence left. Maám, etc, this is something no one will ever read. You're good. They won't find out. Ahham cummin up ye errvin welsh stleeeee, up yer A.N.A,L P
Thanks Fiona. You're a very special friend. Now why don't you feck the flannel offski?
Will you STOP privatising things like where babies are born... WILL you stop covering your stupid arses, it doesnt matter, what does matter is
Stop making things look pretty England. Cos they're not pretty.
Well they can be despite, after at least a year
I'll tell you when to turn the cameras on,,
It's when the lights go out..
That's when my thoughts
Are out -
When the lights go on
It's morning and I am awake.
I live on to another day, each and every-one is the same,
I bleed into another floor, there must be some more to eat.
I'm not hungry don't feed me!
I don't need your MSG!
HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!
HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!
Or even wholemeal pure grain fat
I'll tell you when to turn the cameras on.
Turn them when the lights go out!
Then let my brain will out.
Then let my brain will out.
Then let my brain will out.
Happy birthday tune:
Ten brains might not wig
This wig is absurd,
How will you dust them,
With dust lemon curd.
Crikey it's so hard to spell!
Basically I suppose I'm waiting to actually be allowed to sleep the real sleep of the actual dead, only I don't actually want to be dead, I just suppose I ought to be allowed to sleep until I'm awake again, all refreshed, or even groggy, just as long as if it's groggy I can get right back on down to doing the business of sleep again.
Bash a djembe + dustbin lid on ..
When the samba rhythm starts to play
Makes me sway makes me play, etc to start with, tune, etc, up there, can't find an arrow.....
And then the new one what was put in a drawer for a year and sound like